What The Winter Olympics Have Taught Me

Since the Winter Olympics have been going on,  I cant help but be drawn in by the games, no matter what happens to be on. Even stupid figure skating has been entertaining at the least. I know there’s no way I’d ever be able to do that, which does give me an appreciation for the sport. In watching, I’ve definitely noticed a few trends that I’d like to share with you, my adoring fans.

1. What the hell happened to the Russians?

For a country famous for its winters, you’d think that they’d be a lock for tops in the Winter Olympic medal count. But with the USA having somehow taken over that honor, the Russians look like they don’t even belong there. The Chinese? Stole the gold AND silver medals from Russia in figure skating pairs after a 46 (yes, forty six) year dominance. I watched the Russian pair that were the last hope for that medal this year. The girl wasn’t even Russian! She was Japanese and moved to Russia to train because all of the other chicks there suck! On the same token, I have to give the Chinese kudos- they absolutely deserved the gold and silver, and anyone who heard that story about the pair that won gold couldn’t help but root for them.

2. How COOL does the US look during these games?

I think that we are the only country ballsy enough to have our entire snowboarding team wear ‘blue jeans’ as our snow pants. But that’s not what I mean when I say cool. I mean, I never thought that we would be leading the medal count more than halfway through these games. The most golds and bronzes, and tied for the most silvers. Is it because we have better training facilities? More access to these venues? Or are we just dominating the newer events (snowboarding, freestyle skiing)? Either way, these games do make me proud to be a cocky, rude American. God Bless me.

3. Curling is the coolest thing ever.

Curling is the only Olympic sport in which you can hold a beer in one hand, and a 42-pound rock in the other, and have a chance to win a gold medal. You’d think that would about sum it up, right? No way. I can’t peel my eyes away from the TV when Curling is on. Here’s why. First, this glorified shuffle board game is actually really fun to watch. Watching each team jockeying for position in the ‘house’ while trying to get closest to the ‘button’ during each ‘end’ determines who throws the ‘hammer’ during the next round. What. The. Crap? I KNOW, RIGHT!?!? ITS AWESOME!! for an awesome article on curling, check out Rick Reilly’s piece on ESPN:


What may actually be more interesting the Men’s Curling? Women’s curling. Who knew that so many hot women drank beer? Between the US, Canada and Russia, there may not be a hotter winter game per capita.

I always take the Olympic Games for granted until they come on every 2 years. In 08, I was glued to the TV following Phelps. This time, I’ve been glued to the TV following Ohno, Bode, Vonn, and White. Next time I go skiing, I’m probably gonna bite it a couple of times pretending that I’m a downhill skier. Worth it. Also, I wish there was a curling club somewhere near Delaware. I could easily get 7 of my friends and give it a hack. Anyone know of any good curling clubs nearby? First Round’s on me.


8 Responses to “What The Winter Olympics Have Taught Me”

  1. 1 Casey
    February 22, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    I think the story of the games so far for me has been Bode Miller’s success. After getting lambasted by the media four years ago for failing to win any medals, he has won one of each color in his first three events. I even heard some idiots on the radio laying in to him after he won bronze in the downhill. He was off the lead by .09 seconds! Do people even realize how f***ing hard downhill skiing is at the level?

    I love Bode’s laid back attitude about his success. The fact that his reaction to winning a medal was about the same as his reaction when he didn’t win anything in Torino says a lot about how difficult the sport truly is. He realizes more than anyone that the difference between being a hero for your country and being skewered by the media could be a tenth of a second. And it appears he doesn’t really care whether he is the hero or the goat. In a strange way, that is about as confident as you can get. I think I might have a little man crush on Bode Miller.

  2. 2 jhamnett
    February 22, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Vaughn?? Sure you don’t mean Lindsey Vonn?

    • February 22, 2010 at 7:43 pm

      I have no ides what you’re talking about…

      • 4 jhamnett
        February 23, 2010 at 2:52 am

        Ninja edit?

  3. 5 SamBam
    February 23, 2010 at 12:20 am

    I thought the story of the games was definitely Women’s snowboardcross. Lindsay Jacobellis had so much pressure on her that she got DQ’d with no chance for redemption after a her showboat-tastic method air with a 200 yard lead in Torino made her fall and not make the podium. I admittedly was very sad on her behalf.

    The chinese Pair that won did not have as good of a performance as the chinese pair that took second. Their performance was much more forced and pierced with a few errors. The spread between the two going into the Long Program was was a mere 5 points… the errors and the ugly performance were worth at least that many points, and the program was not quite as challenging. Though their story was one of epic proportions.

    I agree with everything you said about curling.

  4. February 23, 2010 at 2:03 am

    Hah, nice Reilly article. I tell ya, I didn’t care much for short track until Lee Ho-Sucker or whoever talked all the shit about how Ohno didn’t deserve to be anywhere near him on the podium, blah blah. He didn’t get to shut him up on the 1000, but..

    And damn, how about that US hockey team? One of the most exciting games I’ve seen in general in a long time. Like my dad was saying — make the fighting and penalties more scrutinized and you end up with a cleaner and better game. The NHL should take note.

    It’s been a fairly exciting Olympics for one I thought would fly under the radar. I think BustedTees should probably pull this shirt from production really soon: http://www.bustedtees.com/winterolympics.

  5. 7 Drew
    February 25, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Figure skating sucks. There’s way too many categories. Curling rocks. Jacobelis is a waste of an Olympic team spot. Bode better be low key about winning after showing up drunk to races in 06. Team US has surprised the shit outta me. Germany owns Russia in medal count always. And it’s bc Putin steals all the Olympic training money to buy vodka cocaine and hookers.

  6. 8 Bill Suksi
    February 28, 2010 at 5:20 am

    What has THIS olympics taught me?
    1. That the Winter games just do not have enough events for NBC to fill the TIME. They have too much coverage, on too many chanels, to keep my interest.

    2. Except for Figure Skating, Half Pipe, under the lights……. the things shown LIVE, The internet had NBC beat!

    3. Russia broken up, is not the Soviet Union. Germany united…… is TOUGH.

    4, Curling is a sport I can get into the Olympics with! I think my moves would have been so MUCH better……… This is based on YEARS of bar shuffle board, with the next BEERS on the line. There is also REAL curling involved. I played in Oshkosh WI, and at the “official” USA site in Appleton WI. NOT as impressive as Vancover, with the cameras overhead, but 4 lanes, and a lot of fun!

    5. Olympic Hockey has come around. USA v CANADA for gold. Both men and women. With the Finns getting Bronze.

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